Perry van Gils - Rotterdam

I came from a position where I let myself be led too much by expectations, engagement and loyalty. If you cannot let go of that, it will eventually become your downfall. I felt empty! For a long time, I wondered how I let myself get to this point. And eventually I engaged with Van Ede & Partners once I realized I was unable to resolve this alone. Friends and family are there for you, but to truly work on yourself you must bring in professionals.

With Van Ede & Partners I found myself on familiar ground; my wife followed a program there as well. At the partner evenings which I then frequented, there was considerable recognition. You experience that the supporters really go through something significant in such a period.

I found people who I could talk with. A diverse group of people, some were already quite far ahead when it came to making a new career move while others found themselves still at the very start. It felt like a warm bath, a safe environment where I could be myself without others judging.

At Van Ede & Partners what I especially worked on, was learning to make decisions and to stand up for myself and to set boundaries. I was always living up to other people’s expectations. If someone asked me whether I would do something, I would say “yes”. This led to my plate getting filled up with projects other people could not be bothered to do.

Never again! The only issue was I did not have a clear view of how I did see my future. That was where my coach came in. By critically asking many questions, holding up a mirror, letting me face my fears and giving me the courage and self-confidence to overcome those fears. That is how I came to see my journey as the story of the knight and the dragon.

I quickly realized I wanted to become an entrepreneur. But in which field? And especially: do I dare take the necessary steps? What is holding me back? Will I not cave in after seeing an attractive job opening, opting for safety? My most important learning goal was to really pursue my dream. It was not about a job; it was about finding myself.

I have always had a thing with coffee and always wanted to offer opportunities to young people unfamiliar with the labor market. What if I could combine these two? Dominique encouraged me to write a business plan and helped me believe in my dream, and work towards that dream step by step. For instance, by sharing my dream with others, talking about it, and asking for help. This was a mental hurdle I had to overcome. But it helped, also in making difficult decisions and gave me back a lot. Because others were enthused by my idea, I started to steadily believe in it myself.

At this point, my dream has turned into a reality, I did it! No one can take this away from me. I am the proud owner of Sococo, Social Coffee Collective. I have landed my first customers and have been generating good opportunities at larger businesses. I am still right in the middle of my knight-and-dragon-story, but I am dealing with the dragons differently. I engage in dialogue, set my boundaries and I’m quicker to say: “I need this.” Instead of taking another person’s needs as my starting point. I must keep working on myself, but it is an energizing process now.

Click here to see Perry's LinkedIn profile.